Tuesday the 31st of Forever

It is now Tuesday, the 31st of Forever. I am beginning my fourth week of working from home.
I struggled a lot on Monday. Despite attempting to maintain positivity, yesterday was not a good one. I did do some writing, which you may not have read. It's here. It's dark, despite my trying to pry positivity out of it's COLD DARK CLAMMY HANDS. It does help to write. I recommend! I posted it earlier than I usually would and did not cover the VAST ACTIVITIES that occurred last night. Please accept my humblest apolzzzzzz. (I'm quite sure you don't care, which is v fair.)

Well, my three readers, I did a lot last night! Ok, no did not do much last night. Of what I did do, there were two amusing things.

1. Tried to do a family chat with wife's family over FB messenger. Three of them were so consumed with putting filters on the faces. Two were in the same room. So there was reverb and cackles. This was all while mother in law tried to get the camera to work.  Very zen. Once they were all up and running, there was silence. They were all too busy turning themselves into bunny rabbits. I didn't mind though because it meant drinks were permitted and I sat in a peaceful, mournful silence! Schlurping sauvignon blanc. Suited my awful mood very well.

2. Also! Wife inadvertently dressed as a baseball player from 1945. It was actually the same outfit she had worn at about the age of 6. I have this collection of extra gay photos of my wife as a child that I have saved and like to look at. So cute. There's the baseball player one. There's one where she's running around with her top off. She's showing off her tiny little baby lady muscles! Right beside her fully clothed cousins! It's so perfect. And there's my very favourite one. It's of her as the most delighted little tiny thing on a full size toy tractor. Complete with sailor hat.

This morning I realised I'd been doing a lot of in house workouts (MIF) and not going on my little chub lady walkies. All since the lock-in announcement. Bit more scared. Bit less walkies. This was a mistake. As I discovered this morning. Popping out for a 45min triple loop around my park was next level nice. There's lots of air out there, calming, spirtual, Enya-like air. It soothes you. Being with the nature. Looking up at the big dirty grey dull sky. Gazing at all the discarded dog shits in their little littered poo bags. Refusing to pet the most perfect velvet dog who bounded over to me to say hello. And thinking about how this will all end soon. All these things will be normal again one day. I know it doesn't feel like soon right now. But, if I've learned anything about my whole entire long old lady life, it's that it will fly by. Sure amn't I four weeks in my home now!

Four weeks of working from home.

Peaceful in the household working from home today. Washing machine is running at the same time as wife is mowing the lawn. I'm trying to go through a complex tender document. The conditions are immaculate.

Twenty minutes later. Now both the front and back doors are open. Front garden is being done now too! I have become a tiny icicle. While working from home. Still working on that super dense document. But now as a character from Frozen. I'm glad you asked. I'm the gay one.

We went for a co-walk at lunchtime today. Single file. Wide Socially Distant Berths for all. She discussed the carnage in the aftermath of my sub par cookery skills. I mean I don't know what she's talking about. There are a few implements used to make my daily salad. I've been eating it every working day for a full three months now. I only use a peeler, a grater, a chopping board, a bowl, two spoons, a fork and a knife. CARNAGE!! BLOODSHED. I guess there are a lot of elements of dishwashing within that. Neither of us are big fans of washing dishes. I dream of a day where this virus is gone. Where we're walking outside! Rubbing velvet doggies! Where I'm eating my identical salad somewhere else. Where we can buy a dishwasher. Dream big! Everything is possible.

I also had another big long after work meeting about another event I'm working on for the love of it. I am an actual lunatic. I spent so long with my Madonna headset on today, that my ear actually aches. 12 hours of headset time Don't know how Madonna does it. Bet she has a dishwasher.

So, what can I take from the longest Tuesday known to this woman? That I'm not sure if it's the beginning or the middle. It's definitely not the end. But going out for real human air is actual medicine. Plus I recommend looking at super gay photos of your wife. Then getting her to pose for those photos in her future accidental matching outfit. Top. Tip.