Wun-ning to wealth

Before you ask, you are right, this is the most 90's dress you have ever seen. Thanks.

Ah hello! It is I again! Purveyor of nonsense. Your friendly local internet woman! Shouting! Into the gaping hole that is our social lives. Here to report on how nothing can be filled up with SO MANY words.

What have I been doing? As much nothing as is to be expected. Webinars are taking over my life. I now watch people not know how to use the internet with headsets on for a living. While I look out at the radiant sunshine and dream of reality. I'm like broken leg Bart Simpson glaring at the luscious fun swimming pool of life. (Aren't you glad you're reading this poetry! I left that with an exclamation point because the answer is clear.)

Went out for a little wun today (a walk/run). I've found this safe little loop with broad pathways. I've been doing it most days now. Broad pathways are a nearby luxury. They are for the upper circle. Or Kimmage, as I like to call it. Full of fancy gaffs is Kimmage. You know the ones. With those lovely 1930's arches leading to their double front door things. Kimmage is one street away from my house. I am parallel to Kimmage. I bet they have a reading 'nook' in their broad, expansive, frankly unnecessary houses. I have a reading nook too! It's the same place where I do my work outs. And my meals, my sitting down, my staring out the window at neighbours, my godforsaken webinars. A multipurpose room.

I imagine them. The Kimmagers. Using different rooms. Taking their money and turning it into wine. I literally jog on. Like a dressed up teenager refused from Lillies Bordello bar in 2003. Except, reality is, I'm a middle aged woman who started to actually jog. I lumber longingly past their lovely homes. Imagining their open spaces. Their various rooms. For various purposes. We actually did a 9K walk around all the rich streets that were within our 2K parameter on Sunday. The rich people have green squares. Sometimes triangles. And tennis courts! Unnecessary beautiful arches! Just for architectural beauty! No purpose. Also, no litter! And they all seem to go on family bike rides in full family bike ride outfits? Stop oozing your money, families. I say in my brain. Lumber lumber. In some ways I can't imagine living in a house that big, though. It would be unnecessary for tiny wife and medium/large sized me. I'll stick to living a 5 min wun from them and drooling over them daily. Do you think they think I'm a kreep? They're right!

BACK TO MY WUN THO! Beat my own time by five whole minutes. That's ten minutes down from the first time I discovered it. It's amazing the things you'll do when you're forbidden from having friends. Like be healthy. I do feel great about myself because of this regular activity. All these fit people were right all along. Being healthy is good for you! Call the police! (it's because you feel smug afterwards. Or like you've done something with your day. When all you're actually doing is weird moves around your living room or lumbering up some fancy road.)

It's odd how your body battles against you feeling nice though. Craving the dirt. The juice. The delirium from a good knees up. The ignorance of your quivering liver. I still remember the first Easter I fully committed to over eating. I was in a big pink dress with a weird pattern on it. Was it made out of corduroy? And it had a frilly bib thing! HA! Must find photo. Anyway, I remember my auntie making a toblerone chocolate sauce for dessert. This was after the one million dinner I'd squeezed into that pink corduroy frame. I then remember having to lie down and do deep breathing exercises. I thought my tiny body would explode. I do still love gorging myself. But..........

I interrupt this blog to let you know that an emergency happened. A spider was on my head. I did a good old fashioned 'Rage against the machine' headbang for him. What is it about the summertime? We have a million new gigantic 8 legged housemates. Some little ants too. All these little creeps in our gaff. I guess like attracts like. I wonder if Kimmage people have some form of rich people safe spider capture contraption? Made up of their wealth. I'd sip a rosé in one of their gardens right now. Instead I have to go to another meeting at 6.30pm, while wife suns herself in our ghetto garden. Slotting in some blog time between. GETTING. ALL. THE. BITs. DONE!

Today has been weird. I've had so many webinars that I don't remember what reality is anymore. Are we in a suspended reality right now? Getting used to koronatown is pretty unlikely. But there is a sense of routine to it now. I actually overslept this morning. Luckily I only overslept to 9am and my commute was to, well, downstairs. So there wasn't a massive interruption to my day. But can there ever be a normality in a global pandemic? 

What is has made me realise, though, is the potential of our tiny home to bring me so much happiness. It may not have unnecessary curves JUST FOR BEAUTY. But it does have gallons of comfort. It provides everything I could ever need right now in this moment. (APART FROM TOUCHING THE FACES OF MY FRIENDS AND FAMS OBV.)

As each creepy day passes into some phase of a new normal, I do feel very grateful that we have this little haven. It may not be perfect. Or how we want it to look yet. We've GREAT extension plans! So that I can finally start scheduling in the touching of the faces of my friends for many hours. I'll show them my display case! (It's imaginary right now) With its little sculptures on display! And cool toys Wife has collected. All while I enforcably gorge them with toblerone sauce. And full glasses! TO THE BRIM! I'll let them soak up the sun in our little ghetto garden, which will NOW partly be our SUNFILLED kitchen. And make them watch whatever funny YouTube I can't stop watching at the time. I hope that real normal doesn't leave us for too long, because I've only just realised LADS I'm actually rich! Not many room spider contraption rich. My life is rich! With stuff of actual significance! Like a comfy home, a sound wife, yummy food in my tummy and a perfectly sunny garden. Full of dandelions and bees and my endless thoughts. (I moved outside for this bit!)

The new normal may be sad and scary, but I'm safe here in my crumlin shaped cocoon. And for that, I'm the luckiest boring word filled internet woman in the whooooole wide world. So I'll put a pin in my incessant moaning for a minute. I'll still look at the beautiful curves of the gaffs of bike riding families. But I don't wish I was them. I'm good. I'm safe. And I'm as happy as you could be in the middle of a GLOBAL PANDEMIC. And I'll take that.

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